wat bout pragnant strippers??
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
