..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
