I CAN MOONWALK!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
