He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I need a beard to bite.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
