Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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