24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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