Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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