wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
