Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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