Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
