I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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