I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The dick lei will go down in squad history
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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