you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
