it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Actions speak louder than pants.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
