I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize