If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
