i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you win again, gameday.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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