I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
