Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Porn is love you can see.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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