She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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