they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
