She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
