We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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