Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize