Dual....:-)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
