these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
well you can't waste a boner
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
