If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
