the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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