When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
