it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
