So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize