so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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