i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
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