the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
