i would punch a child for taco bell
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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