She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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