she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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