you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
