Quick, to the slutcave!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
