her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The feeling are messing with the penis
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
