He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
