Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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