Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
