I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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