I wish I could punch you in the face.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
