Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
