Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
3 2 1 whiskey
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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