we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize