Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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