Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i think my cat just said my name.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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