No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
