you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
