Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
