Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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