i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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