I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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