Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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