Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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