guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
