the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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