I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
